It is really interesting how this world works. In my lifetime, I have endeavored to help people and make a difference without expectation of anything in return. On the whole, I have succeeded more than I have failed. That makes me really proud. Yet, I am fascinated with what I receive, most of the time, for my efforts. Almost without exception, the people I help use me as much as possible and subsequently throw me away when I can no longer be of use to them. Metaphorically speaking, it is like helping someone off the mat only to be kicked in return. What has this world come to? Are human beings nothing more than users? Is stepping on one another to rise to the top at any cost all that we have become?
Given what has happened in my life thus far, I have concluded that no good deed goes unpunished. It is clear that if I help someone, they will benefit and I will get hurt. They will benefit by taking my ideas, my advice, and my friendship. Then, once they’ve gotten all that they need, I will be kicked as hard as possible and told to get lost. Sometimes, it will be done with a smile as if some kind of perverse pleasure was to be had.
Because of all that has happened to me, I am done helping people. All I get for my efforts is malevolence. Well, no more. In some ways, it is sad because not everyone is like that. However, I have been abused too much to put myself in that position again. I won’t let myself be hurt. I won’t let one more person steal my ideas, use me to climb higher, or know anything about me beyond the basics. Enough. If someone needs help, they’ll need to help themselves. I believe that is how God wants it. The angels he has sent to protect and guide me have said, countless times, that “God helps those who help themselves”. It took a while, but I get it.
It’ll be interesting to see how this change affects me going forward. Will it turn me into a user? Absolutely not. I have been hurt too much to turn into that. Instead, the change will allow me to focus on myself and, as a result, I will be much happier. Focusing on my dreams and enjoying the fruits of my labor will be awesome. No matter what though, the good person in me won’t be going away. And I know I am a good person because God has said so. That is all that matters. What gives me comfort is knowing that Jesus couldn’t make a go of it here either. If he couldn’t do it, I certainly don’t have a chance. And, in a world as lost as this one, it isn’t worth hurting myself for what is a lost cause. In the meantime, I can only feel sorry for those that use and abuse because they will have to atone for it one day.